You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
