I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize