I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
