I love black thongs
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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