**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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