Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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