Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
