We're facebook friends in real life
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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