that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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