i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
