margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
