I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
