i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
