We won't sleep together?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
