She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
