nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
