I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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