My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
should my penis look like a turkey
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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