hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
