how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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