Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
