a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
