Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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