Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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