omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
