Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
