So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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