This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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