so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
