i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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