he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
