I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
