dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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