it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I need a beard to bite.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
