oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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