I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
