I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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