Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize