Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
