Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
