just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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