A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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