I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
