I wish I only lived at night.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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