remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize