You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
