Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
