My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
