Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She told me I should be a condom model.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
