First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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