we have pet lesbian snakes
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
