we have officially lost it.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
