Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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