found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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