you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
