3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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