dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he thought i was a dude.
please come you make the beer taste better
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
