Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
