i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
