So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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