I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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