wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
sex in a hospital.. check
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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