Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
